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This course follows
the parent training program titled Becoming a Love and Logic
Parent developed by Jim Fay, Foster W. Cline, M.D., Charles Fay,
consisting of six separate modules, each of which teaches a different
subset of skills, taught through the following media:
- DVD presentations
by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D., discussing, modeling, and
providing examples of skills
- Structured group
exercises and discussions
- Workbook and
reproducible
- CD’s, readings,
and supplementals
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Module1: Introduction-Raising
Responsible Kids Participants
learn:
- That mistakes
made early in a child’s life provide valuable learning opportunities
if handled appropriately by parents
- The importance
of holding children accountable for their poor decisions through
the use of logical or natural consequences
- Why giving repeated
warnings and lectures interferes with the development of responsibility
and character
- That mistakes
made early in life typically have much smaller “price tags”
than those made later on
- Four steps using
childhood mistakes/misbehavior to teach responsibility
- Why teaching
responsibility leads to development of good self-concept
Module 2:
The Love and Logic “C.O.O.L.” Formula
“C”
stands for
control that’s shared (the importance of sharing healthy
control through choices within limits)
“O” stands for ownership
of the problem (why it’s essential that children be allowed
to own and solve the problems they create)
“O” also stands for opportunity
for thinking/decision making (an introduction to using empathy
to place children in “thinking mode” instead of “fighting
mode”)
“L” stands for let empathy
and consequences do the teaching (an introduction to the importance
of using empathy and logical consequences instead of anger and
punishment)
Module 3:
“Control That’s Shared” Participants will learn:
- That perceived
control is a basic human emotional need
- That we can
either give control on our terms or wait for our children to
take it from us on their terms
- Specific guidelines
of sharing control through choices
- Rules for the
appropriate use of choices
- When not to
give choices
Module 4: “O” is
for “Ownership of the Problem” Participants will learn:
- About the “Helicopter,”
“Drill Sergeant,” and “Consultant” styles
of parenting
- Why parents
who hover and rescue, as well as parents who bark orders, steal
their children’s opportunities to solve problems and learn
why these two types of parents raise children with low self-esteem
- 5 steps for
being a Consultant parent who guides his children to own &
solve their problems
- How to determine
when it’s your problem versus your child’s
- Tips for avoiding
arguments and power struggles
Module 5: “O” is
also for “Opportunity for Thinking” Participants will learn:
- Why telling
children what to do results in power struggles
- How to set limits
by describing what you will do or allow (using “Enforceable
Statements”)
- How to apply
enforceable statements to everyday issues such as meals, homework,
allowance, arguing, etc.
- How to replace
idle threats with enforceable limits
- The importance
of taking time, getting support, and practicing before implementing
logical consequences (the “Strategic Training Session”)
Module 6: “L” Stands
for “Let Empathy & Consequences Teach”
Participants will
learn:
- The differences
between logical consequences and punishment
- Why punishment
frequently leads to resentment, revenge, avoidance, and other
problems
- How to use empathy
to help children learn from consequences, instead of feeling
resentful and angry
- Why empathy
allows parents to remain the “good guy” while allowing
the consequences of their children’s poor decisions to be
the “bad guy”
- Guidelines for
developing effective logical consequence
- About the connection
between chores, responsibility, and self-esteem
- Steps for enforcing
the completion of chores…without threats, warnings, anger,
or bribes
- When to seek
professional help
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